Feminine Fragrance

2011-12-13T17:06:00.000-08:00

At the Gray Borders of Female Sexual Mutilation and Porn

(Saturday 10th December, 11.30 am Harley Street, London)

The following headlines are very common regarding to news for Asian African females:

Bohra women go online to fight circumcision trauma‎

International NGO seeks to raise awareness on female genital Mutilation

Kenyan villagers battle police in defense of female circumcision

Villagers ignore the law and go on a girl circumcision frenzy‎

What Is Female Genital Mutilation?

Female genital mutilation (FGM) or female circumcision is a religious tradition of female genital cutting among some sects of Muslims mostly from African countries and in some very rare cases, in Asian countries. The first attempts to forbid this practice were in the 1920s and later in the 1930s by Christian missionaries in Kenya. And till then, the fight against such sexual violence against females has been originated from time to time. The practice has been condemned due to serious long-term health hazards by medical practitioners. Because the urethral opening is covered, repeated urinary tract infections are common, and stones may form in the urethra and bladder because of obstruction and infection. If the opening is very small, menstrual flow may be blocked, leading to reproductive tract infections and lowered fertility or sterility. One early study estimated that 20 to 25 percent of cases of sterility in northern Sudan can be linked to such genital cutting.( Source: A.Z. Mustafa, "Female Circumcision and Infibulation in the Sudan," Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology of the British Commonwealth, 73:302-306, 1966.)

Feminists see this attempt of genital cutting as a misogynist violence and have launched protests from time to time against this inhuman practice. Different agencies of United Nations (UNICEF, UNFPA, and WHO) have issued a joint position paper and are increasing their efforts to eradicate FGM. WHO recently launched a 15-year strategy to accelerate these efforts.

Whilst this is a common scenario of so-called ‘undeveloped’ or ‘developing countries,’ it also exists in the so-called ‘developed’ countries.

On December 10, 2011, feminists in the United Kingdom gathered in Harley Street in London and staged a protest wearing fake "muffs" and demanding that pornography and cosmetic surgery industries "keep their mitts off our bits." They condemned the rise of female genital cosmetic surgery in Western countries. They named their protest “Muff March,” aimed at blaming the pornified culture promoted by global commercialism which drives women under the knife to get a "designer vagina."

But what is female genital cosmetic surgery anyway? It is actually cosmetic surgery to reconstruct the shape, size and design of the vagina by vaginoplasty (vaginal rejuvenation and tightening) and labia surgery by labiaplasty (labia reduction and beautification), hymenoplasty (reconstruction of the hymento return the ruptured hymen to a pre-sexual state).

Labiaplasty and vaginoplasty can be performed at the same time or in combination with other common plastic and cosmetic procedures such as rhinoplasty, breast enhancement or reduction, abdominoplasty, or liposculpturing. The supporters and promoters of this surgery claim it aims to recreate sexual excitement, restore self-esteem and rejuvenate the love lives of women. But does it?

The Differences Between FGM in the East and West

What is the difference between then these Eastern FMG and Western FMG?

According to WHO, female genital mutilation is classified into four major types:

Clitoridectomy - partial or total removal of the clitoris (a small, sensitive and erectile part of the female genitals) and, in very rare cases, only the prepuce (the fold of skin surrounding the clitoris).

Excision - partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora (the labia are "the lips" that surround the vagina).

Infibulation - narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal. The seal is formed by cutting and repositioning the inner, or outer, labia, with or without removal of the clitoris.

Other - all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, e.g. pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterizing the genital area. (Source: http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/index.html)

The only difference between Eastern FGM and Western FGM is that the former one is done without any anesthesia and without any expert doctor and the latter one is done with all developed medical methods in a sanitary environment. But both have no health benefits, and they harm girls and women in many ways.

In one of my earlier articles, I condemn the Eastern practice of FGM (though as a result of immigration, FGM has spread to most Western countries) as it is another attempt to control female sexuality by male-dominated societies. But one wonders if Western FGM not becoming a tool for the global commercialism? In 2009, plastic surgeons, not gynecologists, in the US earned an estimated $6.8 million (£4.4 million) from vaginal rejuvenation and labiaplasty while in 2008, the National Health Service in the UK carried out 1,118 labiaplasty operations, compared with 669 in 2007 and 404 in 2006. (Source: The Observer, Sunday, 27 February 2011

The Role of the Media

Even the media are used by the commercial houses to subjugate women to make them pornified so that they could be utilised for income. Channel 4, one of UK’s popular TV broadcaster, in its programme “Embarrassing Bodies,” encourages the it female viewers to soothe insecurity about common bodily issues, refers a woman to a cosmetic surgeon to have her perfectly healthy labia sliced off.(link: http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/video/embarrassing-bodies/consultation-enlarged-labia/)

Commercial cosmetics business houses try to propagate that such cosmetic FGM is safe reporting 71 percent of women having the procedures report an ‘improved sex life’ and 23 percent report they could reach orgasm more easily after obtaining such operations. But these claims are possibly advertising/marketing-based and cannot always be substantiated. Thus BJOG, an international journal of obstetrics and gynecology has denied these claims in a report published in its 1^st issue of Volume 117. Experts (L-M Liao, L. Michala, and S.M. Creighton) write:

“This review has identiﬁed almost 1,000 published cases of cosmetic labial surgery. Because the majority of such procedures are performed in the private sector, here audit and publication are not required, and because advertisement, especially via the Internet, is widespread, these ﬁgures are likely to represent the tip of the iceberg. No prospective studies were found. Follow-up was not carried out for most studies and, where available, it was of short duration with unspeciﬁed or suspect methodology. There was no attempt to compare preoperative morphological measurements with published criteria to assess the need for intervention. Surgery appeared to have been offered on demand, justiﬁed by verbal reports of physical and psychological difﬁculties.” ( Source : http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1471-0528.2009.02426.x/pdf)

The Issue of the Rights of Women Over Their Own Bodies

One can argue it might be a question related to the bodies of women and when the feminists are arguing for women’s right over their own body, does this argument become less persuasive when women willingly accept such a practice? Of course, the central theme for women’s bodies/women’s rights implies importance to the rights to autonomy and privacy in making sexual and reproductive decisions as well as the rights to informed consent and confidentiality in relation to health services, to maternal mortality, to lack of procedures for legal abortion, to inadequate allocation of resources for family planning, to coercive population programs, of spousal consent to sterilization, and to occupational discrimination of pregnant women. We should not think that women’s rights over own bodies don’t mean the right to pornify women’s bodies or subjecting a woman to the ideal touted by the global pornography industry.

Unlike radical and social feminists of the second wave, I never think the radical and social feminists’ idea that beauty and fashion subjugate over the power of women. I differ from Naomi Wolf and Ariel Levy when they criticized fashions as a part of the ‘Raunch Culture.’ I am always arguing for the sexual rights of women. I think prohibition on sensual expression of women is also a kind of subjugation and our second-wave feminists and the patriarchal society appear to share the same position in restricting woman for their own means and ends.

But in cases of FGM, we have to remember that the redesigning of the vagina is neither a fashion nor a part of sensual expression, but leads us to a possibility of health hazards. Even its role in sexual orgasm has not been yet established. Secondly, though sexuality has a vital role for a female, can female genital cosmetic surgery prove responsible for any sort of gain in sexual life? Orgasm is completely a psychological phenomena and unless a woman doesn’t immerse in acute attraction and feeling of submission for her partner, it is hard to achieve any satisfaction. In fact, a woman, whose uterus has been removed, can also enjoy a full orgasm. So, the shape and size of any sexual organ doesn’t possess any importance for female sexuality.

But the irrefutable fact of the matter is these cosmetic procedures can make you a ‘commodity’, rather specifically your sex organ as a ‘commodity,’ and this is where pornography comes in. Being a ‘model’ of an art piece and being a ‘porn star’ are not the same. I believe being subject to every sexually explicit topic is not ‘porno,’ but when it makes a woman or parts of her a ‘product’ it’s almost always associated with male-dominant consumerism.

So, let the bodies of women be left for women, not for corporate people or commercialism. Let the bodies of women be figures on their own rather than being figures on the profit & loss ledgers of business.

2011-11-29T10:29:00.000-08:00

The Aliaa Effect

“Try models who posed naked for Fine Arts students in the 1970s, hide all art books, and destroy all naked statues. Then take off your clothes and look at yourselves in the mirror and burn those bodies of yours which you despise in order to get rid of your sexual complexes forever. Do that before you hurl your discriminatory insults at me or rob me of my freedom of expression.” So wrote a 20-year-old Egyptian girl Aliaa Magda Elmahdy in her blog recently where she also posted nude photos and paintings of herself. Obviously, the post received almost instant global media coverage and provoked outrage in Egypt, a conservative Muslim country where most women wear the veil. Many liberals there fear that Elmahdy’s actions will hurt their prospects in the parliamentary election next week. These photos were also posted on her facebook page and on Twitter and in facebook alone, were viewed by more than 250,000 angry, curious, shocked, or supporting viewers.

Aliaa, who recently dropped out of university, describes herself as a ‘secular liberal feminist vegetarian individualist Egyptian.’ She has been living for the past five months with her boyfriend, blogger Kareem Amer, who, in 2006, was sentenced to four years in a maximum security prison for criticizing Islam and defaming former Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak. It was first claimed by her boyfriend that she is a member of April 6, an Egyptian political group that came to prominence during the revolution. But soon after this claim, group members denied reports that the young blogger has ties to the pro-democracy group but rather, said she is part of a conspiracy against them. However, after the group’s statement, she denied having claimed any ties with the April 6 movement. “I am not and never was a member of April 6 and I have never claimed such a thing,” she told CNN in a recent interview.

Talking to CNN, Aliaa explains why she did post her nude photo. “I am not shy of being a woman in a society where women are nothing but sex objects harassed on a daily basis by men who know nothing about sex or the importance of a woman.” She further added on a question of sex that most Egyptians are secretive about sex because they are brought up thinking sex is something bad and dirty and there is no mention of it in schools. Sex to the majority is simply a man using a woman with no communication between them and children are just part of an equation. “To me, sex is an expression of respect, a passion for love that culminates into sex to please both sides,” she said.

Though her stand was opposed by many from her orthodox country, a group of forty women across the border in Israel stood behind her and also stripped in a show of solidarity for her and other women in the area and around the world (Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2064267/Israeli-women-strip-support-nude-Egyptian-blogger-Aliaa-Elmahdy.html).

Aliaa herself had termed her nude photo campaign as a "scream against a society of violence, racism, sexism, sexual harassment and hypocrisy" and no doubt, she and her blogger boyfriend have been receiving a number of death threats, online complaints, and even a lawsuit, recently filed by the Coalition of Islamic Law graduates for "insulting" the Islamic religion and for "advertizing immorality." On November 22, Aliaa wrote on her facebook page: “I stand by every letter I wrote and every photo I published and will say that I don't acknowledge any laws that limit freedoms or are discriminatory if I was called for investigation”

How It All Relates

Besides the question of women’s rights over their own body and the freedom of self-expression, Aliaa raises two major points in her posts and interviews. One is about the use of the veil and another on the virginity test. On the veil, she comments many women wear it just to escape the harassment and be able to walk the streets in peace.

Sexual harassment is a serious problem in Egypt. According to a 2008 survey conducted by the Egyptian Center for Women’s Rights, 83 percent of Egyptian women have been sexually harassed (Source: Johnston, “Two-thirds of Egyptian men harass women?”; see also Magdi Abdelhadi, “Egypt’s sexual harassment ‘cancer,’” BBC News, July 18, 2008, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7514567.stm.) However, it cannot be assumed that all women in Egypt are wearing the veil for this one reason. By connecting sexual harassment and the veil, Aliaa gives the impression that the veil is strongly associated with oppression.

Maybe not, though. In some countries, veils are used as a protest. In Europe, where wearing the Islamic veil (hijab/niqab) is banned, women protest wearing it. In Libya, under former ruler Muammar Qaddafi, the Niqab was banned. According to a report from The Economist, women across Libya are now celebrating over the restoration of their right to wear it. In contrast to Aliaa undressing herself in search of freedom of expression, some Libyan women want to dress and wear such clothing to feel themselves in real freedom and real expression in what they believe. What would Aliaa and her boyfriend say? What could they say? Is this not freedom of expression too?

And about virginity test in Egypt, the Human Rights Commission is still probing the cases continuously performing the Military-style brutal test to insert two fingers into vaginas of women to test their virginity in and after Mubarak’s reign. During an interview with CNN, in May, a SCAF general, talking on condition of anonymity, acknowledged the army had conducted "virginity tests." "We didn't want them to say we had sexually assaulted or raped them, so we wanted to prove that they weren't virgins in the first place," he said. "The girls who were detained were not like your daughter or mine. These were girls who had camped out in tents with male protesters in Tahrir Square, and we found in the tents Molotov cocktails and [drugs].” ( Source: http://uk.ibtimes.com/articles/246877/20111110/egypt-virginity-tests-used-military-humiliate-women.htm). It is true to believe that the military authority who believes in virginity test has no right to raise a question on the grounds of morality?

Aliaa’s Actions: a Help or Hindrance

But do Aliaa’s actions support or hinder a healthy debate on the sexual rights of women?

Sexual rights are often misunderstood and wrongly defined either by feminists or by activists. What do you want to mean by woman’s right on own body? Is ‘body’ an alternate term for ‘sex’ or ‘sexual object?’

Is a ‘woman’s body’ inherently sexual, and can it be used to define any object subjected for passionate feelings only? Is there no need of correlating hunger, sufferings, pain, and shame with that object? Women's bodies are always the issue - too unclean for Hindus, dangerous enough to be covered up for Muslims, and obscured for Christians. We should be more cautious about differentiating these terms carefully. Otherwise there may be every possibility for women to become and remain tools of oppression.

Patriarchal practices shape and perpetuate gender inequality and strip women of any form of control over their sexuality. It is double standard of patriarchy that when it needs to, it allows a woman to disrobe and we can see how the grammar of fine arts are created with the patriarchy accepted social standards of aesthetics and modesty/morality. We see how mythologies played a significant role in focusing a philosophical attitude toward sex. Even the patriarchal effect has been prominent when we find Shakti, the female god is painted with her nudity. When Aliaa disrobes herself, it is patriarchy which shouts with a hefty voice raising the question of morality. But what about other events like fashion shows, beauty contests, or bar girl dances in restaurants and clubs? Morality, in the case of female sexuality, has often been misused or used intentionally to oppress feminine rights and always used by patriarchy as a tool to oppress women.

British feminist and goddess activist Asphodel P. Long (1921-2005) often considered the grandmother of the Goddess Movement in Great Britain once wrote something which can apply to Aliaa’s recent activities. She wrote, “Freud is said to have asked: "What do women want?" Women know what they want. Their difficulty, which is mine, is to find words to describe, and to produce ideas acceptably. Not because we are "silly" but because words and ideas have grown over the last 5,000 years in a patriarchal setting, and describe what men want. Every word, sentence and set of ideas is painful to write, is open to misinterpretation, certainly by men.” (source: http://www.asphodel-long.com/html/politics_of_sexuality.html).

It is explainable why Aliaa did what she did. What she couldn’t do with words, she did with her actions. She boldly spoke volumes using the power of an image -- something to which everyone can relate and understand no matter where they live or what they do or in what they believe.

2011-07-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

Empowered yet Stressed

(Photo Courtesy: Reuters)

Women of India are the most stressed in the world, according to a recent survey conducted by Nielson Holdings, a global information and measurement company to measure consumer behavior. Results of the survey show that 87 percent of Indian women surveyed felt stressed while 82 percent of Indian women surveyed felt they had no time to relax. Women from Sweden were the least stressed with 44 percent, according to the survey’s results.

The survey conducted earlier this year included 6,500 women from both developed and developing countries. It was conducted online among women (18 years of age and over) and cut across both social and economic lines.

But why are the women of developing countries in more stress than those of developed countries? Next to Indian women, Mexican women came in second in terms of stress and lack of time with 74 percent. Russia followed with 69 percent, which the survey blamed partly on the intense pace of social change there. Change which took a half century to evolve in developed countries has been compressed into a much shorter time there.

Opportunities in Developed v. Developing Countries (the numbers)

“Women across the globe are achieving higher levels of education, joining the workforce in greater numbers and contributing more to the household income,” said Susan Whiting, vice chair at Nielsen.

Women in developing countries believe their daughters will have even more opportunities then they did relative to their mothers. However, in developed countries, women surveyed believe their daughters will have the same opportunities, not more. In developing countries, 80 percent of women surveyed believe their daughters will have greater financial stability, while in developed countries, only 40 percent of mothers believe so. Eighty-three percent from developing countries believe their daughters will have a better education and 84 percent believe their daughters will have better access to technology. The figures in developed countries are 54 percent for education and 74 percent for better access to technology.

The survey also showed women talk 28 percent more and text 14 percent more than men every month and more than half of women in both developed (average 56 percent) and developing (average 71 percent) countries say the computer, mobile phones and smart phones have changed their lives for the better.

But the survey reports do not enter into the cause of stresses of women.

Possible Reasons for Stress Among Women Living in India

If we consider an Indian woman’s position in the family and in society, we find it she has yet to establish any real self-identity. Urban Indian women have changed a lot whilst society has remained static. For example, a woman has to take charge of the kitchen, even if she is an earning member of the family and has to go outside for her job. The husband will not take charge of the kitchen, though he remains unemployed, as it is a given for a man to cook for his family is against his manhood. Thus, a woman must walk a tightrope juggling a career and a busy home life as well as conform to traditional social standards.

Even if she is employed at the time of her marriage, the groom’s family still demands furniture, jewelry, and expensive household items, and even homes and expensive foreign holidays as modern dowries.

On the other hand, a woman who has been brought up with very orthodox cultural restrictions and was taught not to love anyone before marriage, at once expected by her parents that she would love a well-placed boy and would lessen the burden of a dowry with her love marriage. This double standard cultural temperament is also a cause of stress for unmarried woman, though the survey overlooked these social problems and concentrated more on economical aspects.

In the case of an unmarried woman, pronounced a spinster even in her late twenties, she brings shame upon her parents and is a burden. This is a cause for stress as well.

The Results (in order of the most stressed to the least stressed):

India: 87%

Mexico: 74%

Russia: 69%

Brazil: 67%

Spain: 66%

France: 65%

South Africa: 64%

Italy: 64%

Nigeria: 58%

Turkey: 56%

UK: 55%

USA: 53%

Japan: 52%

Canada: 52%

Australia: 52%

China: 51%

Germany: 47%

Thailand: 45%

South Korea: 45%

Malaysia: 44%

Sweden: 44%

The full survey may be accessed HERE.

A Call for Your Input

The table shows Indian women being more stressed than women of any other developed country. I hope this survey will shed some light and assist us for further research and study. But what are the socio economic causes for these stresses?

I solicit and welcome the opinions of my readers to find out and channelize the reasons behind the stresses of Indian women which the survey officially leaves out.

2011-05-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

BURQA BATTLE

Recently in several European countries, a tendency to ban this full-body covering burqa or the face-covering ‘hijab’ has been seen and as governments there are trying to outlaw this dress code, which is pushing many countries toward a debate.

While blogging on this topic, I asked my Facebook friends whether ‘burqa’ should be banned or not and what they shared with me as their comments and opinions are as below. It is needn’t to say that the comments are neither edited nor moderated.

Raj Sharma No Burqa is not possible to banned. its the simble of Muslim women Izzet....

Kalim Ullah BURQA or even any tradition, if government tries to change forcefully it has an adverse effect. Traditions are changed by evolution, discussion always help and positive effect.

In past SHAH Iran try to change the tradition unwisely, everyone can see the consequence.

Kalim Ullah BURQA is not part of Islamic faith, but a tradition of Muslim women of subcontinent and some other part Islamic world. Try to change forcefully this tradition tantamount to strengthen the hands of fundamentalist.

Gaurangi Patel Yes, it should be banned:It sabotages individual/female right & freedom to choose & wear whatever, whichever way they want to be 'in'.They are not the choosers here...it is predecided, & they follow wearing burqua,due to religious/social/community rules/conventions.

Albert Ashok Saroj, I appreciate your zeal you feel on your topics, I wonder how many women stay under burqa through out the world, and how many remain out of burqa, what is their % percent, which side has the freedom and enjoy their life more than othe...See more

Gaurangi Patel It is each individual's right & prerogative to select & be confident,comfortable & 'feel good' in the atire that they chhose to be in...WHY, in the nam eof "God", literary speaking(!) should ANYBODU else decide for them...?THEN, if a few chooses to move in Burqua, fine...let them be...!

Albert Ashok In 2008, I had drawn a cartoon on this topic friends can see that @ http://cartoonin.blogspot.com/2008/09/hijab-and-women.html ( copy and paste onto your browser) I have some views also there. Saroj, if you want you can use it too...

Gaurangi Patel While 'issuing' compulsions to wear burquas, the msg seems loud & clear:1 (by male of course:We are born oglers! Beware of us...try not to tempt us...or else...u know...:) 2."You are merely an object in our eyes,so, just 'follow',period!No questions asked...we have convincing answers, in any case...These, are, only to 'protect' you...again, by us:)

Gaurangi Patel sorry:"ogglers"

Alfia Wallace oglers is fine too.

Gaurangi Patel Oh O..thanks!

Vashini Sharma certainly it should be banned !

Nimmi James I don't think it is to be banned... I think it is easy to wear over the kitchen dress to go out immediately.But should not force to wear..give freedom to choose and wear...

Bandana Pattanaik Interesting topic and timely too. The question ultimately is should others/ state/ religion/ and other moral guardians decide what women should or should not wear. I would like to share a friend's response to a question I asked her recently. We had met many years ago. At that time she wore her 'hijab' and never wet out without it. She also wore very 'traditional' clothes. When we met again after nearly 8 years she looked very different. No 'hijab', no long clothes etc. I asked her what brought about the change. Her answer: "I haven't changed. When I was growing up there was a social/state pressure to modernize. Hijabs were looked down upon. So I decided to wear them. I did not want people to think I was less progressive just because I wear a certain kind of dress. Now things have changed. There is pressure from a certain section of the state and society to wear Hijab. The moral police is tracking every move of women. If we are seen with men who are not related to us, we are told that it is 'immoral.' So to defy this attitude I gave up my hijab and changed my style of dressing. You see I have always been a rebel."

Rekha Joshi Mukherjee ‎...to each his own actually...who am i to disagree???? burqua or hijab is a very personal choice with some women..and the family traditions they adhere to...recently i was in kashmir and found that the society is very supportive of women's education and over all well being...i never came across a single woman sporting a burqua...yes,they cover their heads..as we also do wen we visit any place of religious importance...and guess the weather usually remains very cold so it helps wen the head is covered....talking about women all over-wearing this drape,yes,as gaurangi said,it helps keeping the women-folk safe from the ogglers..hahaha ( guess it originated from there )..any law enforcement will not help here i think...those who wish to cover-up..wil always do so..and many have voluntarily moved on with the times...

Fide Erken What if they would choose not to wear it themselves.If it is banned, their wish to wear it will increase I think.

Nahid Osman wearing burqa is hiding her own identity......

Rupa Hazarika I have seen most of the women like to wear respective traditional dresses. Even I have seen our honourable president smti prativa patel always remain under the half veil of sari. Late smti Indira ji our former prime minister and many of such reputed and famous women who contributed a lot to the society by staying under half veil. I have seen my mother and mother in law too like to stay under half veil. Wearing of traditional/religious dress doesn’t mean that an women’s freedom is banned because many incidents like sexual abuse etc often takes place due to our so called modern wearing which expose women’s body only . I feel women need to increase enough mental strength , moral senses and courage to overcome obstacles in her life as well as contribute something meaningful to the society it does not matter what she wear burqa / sari under the half veil

Kshirod Parida Who will ban & for whom? It is a religion linked dress.Those who believe strongly they are using.Lot of women having modern education are not using.Dress has its own style & believe. When it will be banned,certainly it may a debate or disturbance in the society.Many people have taken it as option. in my opinion it should be left to the user or believer. There should not be any legal stand or force on it.After few years the taste and temperament may lead it in a different direction for the user.Let it be as such.Let them as they like.

Jaya Nair Sarojini, thank you once again for highlighting topics that can bring to the surface of any issues surrounding it. To allow everyone to express their views and to understand the logic behind it.

I've been in this country for almost all my life. My schooling, college and married life too in this country, as all my family are all here too.

Never seen a burqa until we traveled to Kerala on holidays and transit in the middle east. That was my 1st ever view of a burqa.

The explosion of women wearing burqa started happening just after the 911. I've been curious to know and was told it's not for religious purpose but for protection from sandstorms in the desert.

Why all of a sudden this urge to cover up?

Why decorate it with blingy objects and stones, if the purpose is to keep a low profile?

Why wear so much make-up, especially eye make-up? It attracts the opposite sex, which this costume is clearly trying not to do.

Some use it to leave the house in and takes it off and walk around in normal clothing and a lot of make-up and burqa back on to return home.

Why the deceit? Who are you doing it for? This is 2011, now 1011.

One of our regular customer, now in her 40's started wearing burqa recently but her attitude continues as before. She will do as she pleases and rise to the occasion as she desires. She smokes, gambles (it's forbidden in the quaran, i was told),swears in Hindi, Urdu, English at everyone she dislikes.

She has gone to Mecca several times. I was also told that you become humble and calmer. Many seem to do the opposite and feel as if they're above everyone. Holy place don't make the visitor Holy.

She even slapped a man in our shop. She was checking the scratch card (gambling in another form)at the counter, blocking this gentleman from being served. There was no physical contact for her to react in this manner. He didn't say or do anything, just walked away, respecting her burqa.

Sometimes she comes to the shop without burqa. At times, she has to lift the burqa for me to recognise her. It's against the law to serve cigarettes, alcohol and lottery tickets to under age. A hefty fine and prison sentence for the owner for not following the right procedures in identity checks. A person wearing a burqa is not easily identifiable, to know the age of that person or if it is that person they claim to be.

It could be Miss X (17yr old) bringing identity card of Miss Y (18yrs old or over).

The shop keeper is now in a dilemma of whether to serve or not. To ask the person to remove it would be breach of 'Human Rights'.

Burqa is a regular and normal scene everywhere nowadays, some wear it for convenience and other for their religious reasons.

This subject is quite confusing, nobody wants to talk about it. Many fear for being victimised or labelled as anti-burqa or Muslim.

I do strongly oppose wearing burqa whilst driving or be in a place where safety is number one priority. How much vision is obscured by it? I've had so many close encounters with accidents due to women wearing burqa.

Why wear burqa in the enclosure of your car? No one can see you long enough to turn them on.

At banks, ports, airport and places where your face should be identified for safety checks for obvious reasons. It could be anyone under the burqa. No one should be exempt from thorough safety checks at places quoted above.

Men would like to keep their wife/wives covered due to their insecurity.

One of my colleague had to evict a girl wearing a burqa from the cinema theatre for indecent behaviour with her boyfriend. Wearing a burqa does not make you invisible.

What has changed, for the burqa wearing in other countries other than Muslim countries as it was before? Muslim religion was existent before, nothing new.

We've had incidents, where a Muslim woman goes for a job interview, minus the burqa. When she is appointed, turns up wearing one. The employer asked her to remove it and was taken to court for human rights reasons. There have been other incidents, were granted compensations for their loss of job or pain endured.

One was a hairdressers job and the other was a school.

Why did they turn up for the interview without their burqa? At least inform their future employer of their intention to wear one in employment. The confusion and the distress caused could have been avoided.

Do you know how it feels like, to be in the presence of a faceless one? Not comfortable.

How would people feel, if everyone walked around with balaclava? Not pleasant or safe. Right?

Sorry, for the length of this note. Thank you.

Albert Ashok Jaya, I agree with you. you have some logic and reasoning with your words. Thank you

Albert Ashok Many people thinks veil is religious and traditional. My view point is :: it was not a practice from a certain point of an ancient time. society has created this in a particular geographic area and imposed it by some type of force. made it a regular practice by brainwashing. A generation was born within black cover . adaptation accepted and human society divided. one is exposing identity another hiding identity. lets society get educated and civilisation will wipe what is not necessary.

Mumtaz Mazumdar whts the problem with it maam? i myself wear it often. its related to our 'iman' (faith). if muslims have no problem with it, why does it always tickle others?? we shall live and die to save it!!

Jaya Nair Mumtaz, you wear it often or all the time? It's not about tickling anyone but when it's used for convenience. As stated before, i strongly oppose it being worn when safety is at risk. If it's to do with faith, why weren't they wearing it before? Why the explosion of it now? My daughter's friend started wearing it few years ago and now she refuses to wear it. Her explanation is that she felt suffocated and not herself. She feels free and much happier now.

Gaurangi Patel Yes, Jaya, absolutely right...

Albert Ashok According to a new study, conservative Muslim dress codes might be causing serious health problems for Muslim women: http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2007/06/burqas_vitamin_d_and_religion.php

Albert Ashok Enveloping outer garments, such as the burqa, are believed to cause or worsen medical conditions in some individuals. In particular, they contribute to a predisposition for hypovitaminosis D, which can lead to rickets or osteoporosis and may increase the risk of seizures in infants born to affected mothers http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burqa

Gaurangi Patel This won't b out of place: esp in villages in India: women use sari as a veil, cook on "chullhaas", even in scorching heat, or gas-stove, N many hav caught fire...unlike 'burning' the lady

Albert Ashok All women should be left in their liberty and comfort: Lets women decide their own thing and rule their lives. Why religion and tradition dictate them? This world has nothing to do in keeping women in chain.

AjAy Kumar Bohat Bikini Should be BANNED.....

Kalim Ullah In my opinion there are two options

1. It should be ban by government, lady police deploy at road equipped with scissors any woman found wearing BURQA her BURQA is cut. This action is supposed to be legal, or any method supported by force not will.

2. A law should be passing that anyone forcing a woman evens her husband or father to wear BURQA should be punished, police can be called by victim which take swift action.

This law should be published in newspapers to enhance awareness.

The first one further aggravate the problems, the second one will lead to eradicate this old tradition. Wearing BURQA is a tradition not by Islamic faith.

But a significant number of Muslim women like to wear BURQA for various reasons, so no one should object. BURQA is not as inhuman like wearing chastity belts, but certainly a bar of woman freedom, which should be resolved wisely.

Mumtaz Mazumdar serious health problems? by burkha? oh really! i have seen my grandmothers being in purdah for more than 70 -80 years, and they some of the most beautiful and healthiest skins! in west, whites are getting skin cancers due to over-exposure to sun! how many muslim women died due to burkha-wear?

Mumtaz Mazumdar its just another way to trouble the muslim community. Sarkozy has semi-nude Carla Bruni. He wants to see more skins. a satanic man who is just too curious to the purdah-nashin muslim women!

Mumtaz Mazumdar we never stumble wearing burkhas. iran has all its women clad in burkhs. more than 70% teachers and students in their univs are burkha-clad females there. nuclear world of iran consists of more than 60% black-burka women. do they keep on falling and studying and researching there? in mecca and medinah, females are policewomen and in other authorities there, all clad in burkha. running the administration. and so on. one of my sister-in law is a gynacologist in a famous hospital in jeddah, from 15 years. she never told us that burkha has harmed her intelligence, confidence, mother and wife's duties or duties as professional? limited information upon the uses of burkha leads us to be against it. burkha rather makes us feel more at home in and carefree. health comes from food, environment and the sun is very strong to be able to penetrate inside the burkha. or else, long back the middleeast women would have been wiped out due to burkha. they have world's one of the most stable female ratio. sometimes, it exceeds males even.

Mumtaz Mazumdar Sarkozy is naughty boy. you see how he changes wives! like the colourful clothes! and people call him the icon of youth! in that case, we should expect our women, to used and thrown by men. this will be more problematic than the so-called problem with burkha.

Supriya Panda Why any dress be either "imposed" or" banned" when it is the liberty of an individual to select a dress as per his/her choice and catering to he comfort-zone.And why Burqa and no reference to many gents in some Middle East country who

J. Barrett Wolf Banning the burqa is a discriminatory act against one particular religion. It is morally no different than banning jeans and flannel shirts - or any of the regular things I wear -because the legislators felt that maybe, somewhere, somebody could hide a gun in them.

In both cases it is true at a weapon or a bomb can be concealed in clothing. So, the defining difference is the influence of anti-Islamic sentiment, driven by both simple fear and the inability to differentiate between those people who pose a danger and the Islamic religion as a whole.

Amit Ranjan Burqa is remnant of medieval oppression of women. Must not it must it be banned immediately but should also be deleted from the human psyche forever! It is another negativity of our global society which I vehemently detest. Global=all religion, cast, creed, nationality and even gender!

Pradeep Biswal Leaving aside the religious part of it it should not be mandatory for women.It symbolises a mediavall mindset of men.

Tariq Ahmed Siddiqi Burqa seems to be illogical. But why French Governement banned the Scarf? Why a Muslim girl cannot wear a Scarf in Schools there? A Muslim lady wants to cover her head and for this she wears Scarf. What is wrong in it?

Himalayan Voice We had a chance to see a photo being taken by a man somewhere in the Middle East. The man was taking photo of 3/4 women in 'burqa thing posing triumphantly'. We were flatly amazed and asking ourselves, why would have the man needed to ta...

Jyoti Prasad Pattnaik Burqa is just not a religius problem but a veil to protect someone from the harsh weather. And that is why It can be advocated that the forceful use of this veil may be diminished but a BAN can never imposed. Since this is the dress that women in the middle east countries wore not only as a compulsory dress code but as a piece of cloth which saved them from the sand sttorms and other harmful rays of the sun. I think if someone is forcing us to wear burqa it should be blamed but it can not be banned...

Ajay Sinha Is it need of today?

Amit Ranjan Burqa is remnant of medieval oppression of women. Must not it must it be banned immediately but should also be deleted from the human psyche forever! It is another negativity of our global society which I vehemently detest.Global=all religion, cast, creed, nationality and even gender!

Hemant Kumar Pillai burqa is like ghoonght(veil) and it is symbol of regard elders and keep dignity.

Vidya Bhandarker I would say now if we are still talking about India-and we have a democracy here. There are pitfalls true especially with the security issues however I still say no the burqa should not be banned:)

Vidya Bhandarker I have travelled lived across the world East and West and I have realized one thing about the strength of my nation-Not America, Europe-we in India are the most secular and democratic people. I talk of the silent majority and not the rabble rousing politicians. Our Muslim brotherhood in India is largely the most Sufi in its leanings. I talk again of the majority and not the minority rabble rousers. Stereotyping of our folk have gone to the nadir-not fair. Burqa is fine if they are comfortable with it. :)

Vidya Bhandarker Liking is not enough come and say it :) opine:)

Pullin Kapadia There are people who are not modern as we are and I feel its not good to provoke them butr simultaneously if a Muslim wants to come of the present situation and adjust to the modern times than at times he should be willing to let go off this particular Burqa system but enforcing ban on Burqa is going against the belief of some which creates dishormony in society as it their part of their culture since ages

Vidya Bhandarker With due respect I think banning a burqa is literally asking a Hindu woman not to were a bindi or a sikh to remove his turban. This is as you rightly say a matter of choice. Ethnic identity/social identity is part of individual identity. The law in a democracy should not come into it. I however do feel ethnic identity is not about modernity-it represents the "I " in a person. I was in Washington for long, but if there is a social invite I did go with my saree and bindi

Vidya Bhandarker Not a suit or dress:)

Pullin Kapadia Yes Definitely agree with your views Vidya but simultaneously if you are talking of Democracy and the views of different cultures than the thought should be on We and not I as India is a democratic Country with different cultures and various caste of people and keeping everybody in mind your statement stands on solid ground with a indepth foundation and it is these values of we all Indians that have kept us united at times of distress also.

The discussion is also liked by Anurag Gogoi, Susan Reinhard, Kiran Gill, Yam Desor,Santosh Kumar, Sujata Singh, Gaurangi Patel, Natalia Turisheva, Erbc Pattanayak, Ajay Sinha, Jyoti Prasad Pattnaik, Joseph Thambi, Sramit Jajodia,Himalayan Voice, Kumar Ritesh, Rekha Joshi Mukherjee, Santosh Kumar Satapathy, Alfia Wallace, Mumtaz Mazumdar, Hemant Kumar Pillai

My original blogging 'Banning the Burqa: What’s Really Being Hid?' can be read HERE

2011-05-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

A Walk to Freedom

“Slut Walk” a new type of protest march started on last April 3, 2011 in Toronto and is going to spread globally. The protest marcher’s women wearing high heels and fishnet stockings were prominent in a demonstration. They named their protest from the words of a Canadian police constable r Michael Sanguinetti, who said that women should ‘avoid dressing as sluts to market less likely to be harassed”. Comments sparked a global movement galvanised by Face book and Twitter. "SlutWalks" have now been held in Dallas, Asheville in North Carolina, and in the Canadian capital, Ottawa, and are planned for Seattle, Chicago, Philadelphia, Reno and Austin.

I can remember in 1968, a group of women influenced by Betty Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique staged demonstrations at the annual Miss America Beauty pageant held in Atlantic City, NJ. They argued this type of contest consciously manipulates its portrayal of women as ‘sex object’. They tossed their bras in the garbage getting instant media coverage and hence, the term "bra-burners" entered the media vocabulary as a pejorative for feminists.

Naomi Wolf and Ariel Levy with their books The Beauty Myth (1991) and Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture (2005) argued that to make a woman interested in fashion and beauty culture is purely political and also a part of the process to maintain the patriarchal system. Even women were asked to give up fashion, make up and even lipstick so as they could refuse to subject themselves as any sex object.

But there is a strange similarity in the attitude of Western social and radical feminists of the second wave and the patriarchal society as far as the sexual objectification of women is concerned. Both of them believe women have often been valued mainly for their physical attributes.

On March 04, 2010, just one year before the beginning of ‘slut walk’ in Canada, I discussed about these Beauty Dilemmas in an article and later It is anthologized in my book Sensible Sensuality. and now I am reading a news that the crowd marched on police headquarters, calling on police to stop blaming rape survivors for what happened to them and chanted, "Whatever we wear, wherever we go, yes means yes and no means no,"

I hope this movement may bring awareness to the shame and degradation women still face for expressing their sexuality … essentially for behaving in a healthy and sexual way.”

2011-05-07T03:51:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day 2011. Sunday, May 8

The best thing in a life to be a Mom: Feminists of our age should celebrate Mother’s day http://bit.ly/lzrwBb

Our feminist thinkers always so far try to skip the idea that offspring begging is a natural instinct of a woman and it is related to our ecological and environmental situation. Anything against it may resulted to disaster, we find, a woman has to pass through a different stage in her life span and there is a phase where a woman feels an intense need of her own offspring. Feminists of second wave feminism have always tried to pursue a woman against the natural law because it is seemed to them that motherhood is barricade for the freedom of a woman. But if the woman has her own working field, doesn’t have it mean that her working assignments would demand more of her time, of her sincerity and of course of her freedom? If a woman can adjust herself and can sacrifice her freedom for her own identity at out side her home, then why she shouldn’t sacrifice some of her freedom for parenting, when parenting is also a part of one of her social identity? And it could also be solved by rejecting the patriarchal role of parenting. We have to insist the idea of the division of labor in parenting. This equally shared parenting is now common in Western, but still in South Asian countries we find it as a taboo factor rather because of economic inequality between men and women, our crazy work culture, and the constrictions that are placed on us by traditional gender roles.

Mother’s Day is a day for many people to show their appreciation towards mothers and mother figures worldwide. It is an annual event but is held at different dates in the calendar, depending on the country.

2010-07-30T07:43:00.001-07:00

Cashing In On Female Sexual Dysfunction: The Next Myth

The world's pharmaceutical companies have been consumed by the race to find a remedy for female sexual dysfunction (FSD) ever since the late 1990s when Pfizer gained FDA approval for Viagra.

So very effective in the “treatment of erectile dysfunction in men,” Viagra has proven to be a “blockbuster” drug; a billion-dollar-generating marvel of a product! It worked. It changed lives. It was a ‘sexy drug’ in every sense of the term. It then became clear there was a great deal of money and power to be gained in the field of sexual dysfunction -- money and power that could be exponentially multiplied if the market were expanded, which it would be if pharmaceutical companies could sell drugs to women as well as men.

Vivus had a particular interest in tapping the market. In 1996, 14 months before Viagra launched, it gained FDA approval for Muse, a suppository which, when inserted into the male urethra shortly before sex, improved blood flow to the penis thus alleviating the symptoms of erectile dysfunction. Muse did an extremely good business having sales of $130 million; then Viagra launched. A year later, Muse sales plummeted to around $59 million and have dwindled ever since. Men seemed to prefer a pill over a suppository and abandoned Muse en masse.

Around the same time, Leland Wilson, President and Director of Vivus, gave a TV interview about sexual dysfunction and mentioned, in passing, that his company was working on concepts for products for FSD. The price of Vivus stock promptly skyrocketed in response. From that point on, Vivus begun working in earnest on Alista. Meanwhile, Pfizer began working hard on discovering whether Viagra might work for women as well as men, while Procter & Gamble began working on a testosterone patch called Intrinsa. Darby Stephens, Manager of Clinical Research at Vivus, estimated that at the time her company was working on Alista, some 12 pharmaceutical companies were developing alternative cures for FSD. “We are in a race to see who can be first to market,” she said.

(“The Race to Discover Viagra for Women,” The Observer, 25 April 2010).

My Perceptions on Female Sexual Dysfunction

Q - The evolution of female SEXUAL desire is crowded by myths. DO Scientists believe that women still need to `learn to lust'?

A - It is not true that women still need to ‘learn to lust,’ but it is historical fact there has been a centuries-long conspiracy that women should be kept away from their desires and that patriarchal society has subjugated itself over the feminine world by inducing some falsehoods like ‘chastity’ and that for women, sexual desire is so supressed in their individual conviction that if any woman tries to have a desire about sex or sexuality, it may be conceived as ‘dirty’ or ‘perverted’ or a ‘sin.’ As a result, patriarchal society has imposed the falsehood of a chaste woman and has made her ignore her own desires.

Q - What is the desire quotient OF THE INDIAN WOMAN?

A - I think the problem of women with sexual function is more psychological than physiological. Until now, scientists have known far too little about how a woman’s sexuality works. And yet, according to a recent study by researchers at the Yale School of Medicine and Albert Einstein College of Medicine, nearly half of all women who participated in the studies suffer from some sexual problem; many suffered from more than one.

And it has now been proven that orgasm is not experienced by most women either in the West or in the East. Curiously, very few activists have come forward to proclaim that right for women. And it appears most medical researchers and funders of this research are also not in the mood to spend too much money trying to figure out why some women are sexually unhappy.

Q - Are many women still living in denial of their desire? What are the expressions of female desire in today's world?

A - Yes, I believe women are still living in denial of their sexual desire. Most women seldom discuss sex with their doctors. They even think not being able to experience orgasm during sexual intimacy is a normal occurrence. They are totally molded by patriarchal conspiracy where male sexuality is termed as ‘active’ while female sexuality is ‘passive.’ Here, I don’t think the situation in the West differs much from that of the East. It seems throughout the world, the sexual instinct of females is routinely suppressed.

Q - How do men perceIve female desire?

A - Not ‘men’ but the ‘economy’ and ‘industries’ are now finding a new market among women to perceive their sexual desire. But these are all only ‘money matters.’ The ‘consciousness about women’s sexual desire’ began when Procter & Gamble tried to win FDA approval for its female testosterone patch, which the company claimed could help women boost their sexual desire. Ironically, it has been proven by scientists that no single measurement of androgen hormones, like testosterone, can predict low desire. Some women with low testosterone levels did not have low desire, while some women with normal levels did.

Conclusion:

I believe depending upon social and psychological factors and recognizing the sexual rights of women are the only way in which the problem can be solved. So, I think, it is not a for-profit ‘drug’ but a change in social attitude which can make a positive change and prove beneficial to women in solving their FSD issues.

2009-10-18T18:48:00.000-07:00

To be a feminist or not to be a feminist? Is it really a question at all?

Indian blogger PRAGYA BHAGAT has posed a question regarding my search and conviction in her latest blogging. She has admitted from the first line that her idea about a feminist is ‘over exposed’ with the idea that, a feminist “must be aggressive. Slogan-bearing, perhaps. She must be progressive, willing to fight for what she believes in. You know, equality, education, independence, all that jazz. She doesn’t have to be a ‘she’.”
Ms. Bhagat compared me with her Nani (Grandma), who was, according to her, born a decade before me, and like many elderly women, she gossips, she cooks, and criticizes like no other. Although naniji has lived in the US for more than two decades, she is an Indian nari (woman) through and through. She started her own business while raising five children. She learned a new language after the age of fifty and still works in her seventies. Pragya asked whether this description classifies her as a feminist or not. She admitted that her grandma performs ‘karva chauth’ (while Pragya does not) and that this fasting empowers her. According to Pragya, “at night, she dresses up in her finest jewelry and silk-embroidered sari. She performs the patient ritual of breaking the fast only when she sees the moon. Through the practice of ‘karva chauth’, she is celebrating herself, her self-control, and her dedication to her marriage...This is how I am beginning to perceive feminism - being the woman you are and loving it.”
I am grateful to Pragya that she gives a favour by comparing me with her Grandma. But the total blogging, I think, is a result of a misconception and that Pragya could not follow my ideas of feminism, though she took much pain to go through my interviews and writings. Repeatedly, I have been saying that it is odd to think that feminism is only meant to protest against male hegemony. Nowadays, feminism is a multi-dimensional concept and it differs from culture to culture and from people to people.
The similarity of all the feminist ideas is the ultimate freedom of the female mass. There are different types of feminists. Some are shouting against male hegemony; some are even coming forward with their anti-sex and anti marriage voices; some are very radical; some are very moderate; and some are sex positive. After the famous ‘feminist’s sex war,’ you can’t describe fully anyone if you say ‘she is a feminist.’ It is also true that Pragya’s study on feminism is very limited, otherwise she would not confine ‘feminism’ to ‘slogan raising voices.’
As a creative writer, I have once told I am not an activist and that no creative writing, in my idea, should follow any ‘ism.’ It is the philosophy which follows the writing and not what the creative writer writes that follows any ‘ism.’ Secondly, its strange how could Pragya know that I keep myself away from family life or that I am different ‘woman’ who has no family bonding? I have to work outside; I have to manage my family; I have to cook and to take care of my household. I don’t rely upon domestic help for everything. Once I was in need of a motherhood (see my story” Waiting for Manna, from my second collection of short stories), I bore and brought up my children. It is another matter that I have a husband who is very liberal and more a ‘friend’ to me than a ‘husband’ in patriarchal sense. But what makes me any day a ‘feminist,’ if I am ever a ‘feminist’ (because Pragya uttered a word ‘self-described feminist’ for me)? It is not due to my ‘tomboy activities’ in my childhood. ‘Tomboy activities’ do not make anyone feminist. Rather, it is my mother, whose situation, condition, and life under the patriarchal milieu make me a ‘feminist.’ I have seen my father buy jewelry for her. But in India, these jewelries are considered as an asset of a person. He (my father) did not allow my mother to wear them publicly. Readers can read my story End of Fascination. I have pointed out that my father, along with many others of the masculine world in our society have an idea of possession of their wives. But, they always try to discard any thought of possession over them by their wives. My story Hatred may be a fine example to show the reason what made me a ‘feminist.’
From time to time, in my different articles, I have always stated that I always believed that man and woman are biologically different. I am not against any biological species. I am not against any social system like marriage, motherhood, or heterosexual love. I think man and woman are complimentary to each other in order to make nature’s law fulfilled. What I AM for is the same status of a female and a male in society. I am against patriarchal society but that does not mean that I want to replace a matriarchal society with a patriarchal one.
If Pragya’s grandma feels fasting for her husband empowers her, I have no problem with that. My problem arises if her Grandma would force Pragya to make fast in ‘krava chauth’ against her will, just like patriarchal society has been doing for an eternity. Our patriarchal society has exploited sexual difference to create systems of inequality and has exposed the facts of sexual politics. The patriarchy always tries to induce the women with three unauthentic attitudes.
These are the attitude of being a ‘devi’ or goddess of self-less goddess (Pragya should tell me why we don’t find a ‘self-less’ man as a god),a devoted mother, and a pure or Sati women. These ideas are good to hear but in my opinion, they are the tools of sexual politics that the patriarchy has been trying to play with women for ages. The patriarchy always attempts to trap women into an impossible ideal by denying their individuality and situations for all different kinds of women. In all three of these attitudes, women deny the original thrust of their freedom by submerging it into the object. In the case of the first, the object is herself; the second, her beloved and the third; the oppression of physical and psychological needs .
Actually, to be a feminist or not to be a feminist is not at all a question. Whoever is born with a feminine gender, has to remain as feminist as her thought, sufferings, feelings, even her language and speech type are also different from that of masculine world. I don’t believe a woman is more than a man. What is an objectionable matter for me is when someone says women are inferior or second class citizens in comparison with men.
Plato once said in his Republic that “... the only difference between men and women is one of physical function- one begets, the other bears children. Apart from that, they both can and should perform the same functions (though men on a whole, perform them better) and should receive the same education to enable them to do so; for in this way society will get the best value from both.” I admit that males can perform some functions better than women and that women can perform some functions better than men.
Yes it is true that some feminist thinkers and activists consider men as their No. 1 enemy. They use this idea to advertise and propagate themselves. But I think it is also similar to the idea of male hegemony. I always tried to develop the idea that love between two people has much importance and it should not interfere with gender equality.
I am sure, if Pragya’s grandma any day would read my stories, away from her shock as Pragya’s intuition, she would applaud and would find herself in my stories. Above all, we women are in the same boat, which women like Pragya forget sometimes.

2009-10-10T22:52:00.000-07:00

The Myth of Mars and Venus

( The painting of Mars and Venus by Sandro Botticelli 1483, source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_and_Mars_(Botticelli)

Deborah Cameron, a professor of Language and Communication at Worcester College of the University or Oxford and a leading expert in the field of language and gender studies, wrote a book entitled The Myth of Mars and Venus in which she describes the men are from Mars, women are from Venus position and reveals that differences between men and women are an issue of culture, not a fundamental difference in our chromosomal makeup. I borrowed this title from her book.
Away from the demands of feminists for the same status in language, some social linguistic scholars think the language of men and women differ in their speech patterns.

Women usually speak in a softer voice using pitch and inflection to emphasize points. They sound more emotional in speech. They use approximately five tones when talking and interrupt others less and allow more interruptions. They disclose more personal information about themselves, and make more indirect accusations. They use "why," which sounds like nagging (i.e., "Why don't you ever call?"). They make more indirect statements, use more intensifiers such as "few", "so", "really", "much", "quite", make more tentative statements and use "tag endings" or upward inflections which make statements sound like questions (i.e., "It's a nice day, isn't it?"). They use more conjunctions when changing topics (i.e., "and", "but", "however") and ask more questions to stimulate conversations. They tend to establish more business relationships through discussing their personal life.

On the other hand, men speak in a louder voice using loudness to emphasize points. They sound more monotonous in speech. They use approximately three tones when talking and interrupt others more and allow fewer interruptions. They disclose less personal information about themselves; they make direct accusations (i.e., "You don't call"). They make more direct statements and "beat around the bush" less often, use less intensifiers, and make more declarative statements (i.e., "It's a nice day."). They use more interjections when changing topics (i.e., "Hey!", "Oh", "Listen!") and ask fewer questions to stimulate conversation. They rarely discuss their personal life in business.

In 1975, for first time, the known grammarian Robin Lakoff claimed that there is a typical female language, very different from that of men, marked by the use of certain linguistic features such as hedging devices, tag questions, intensifiers and qualifiers, so-called “trivial lexis,” “empty” adjectives, and rising intonation on declaratives. Specifically, male use of language was considered the norm and women’s language was deviant from that norm, and thus being regarded as inferior to that of men. (See: Lakoff, R. (1975), Language and Women’s Place, New York: Harper & Row)
To justify his own statement, Lakoff put forward a “dominance approach” theory, according to which the difference in language between men and women is a consequence of male dominance and female subordination. In this view, women are a suppressed minority group.

But another group (supported by John Coates (19860 and Deborah Tannen (1990)), on the other hand, believe that men and women belong to different subcultures and that any linguistic differences can be attributed to cultural differences. They argued men and women communicate differently (and women do it better) because of the way their brains are wired. The female brain excels in verbal tasks whereas the male brain is better adapted to visual-spatial and mathematical tasks. Women like to talk; men prefer action to words. (See: Holmes, J. (1992b), “Women’s Talk in Public Contexts”, Discourse and Society ).

Recently ( on 2009-09-30 ) a book has been published under the title of Code Switching: How to Talk So Men Will Listen (ISBN: 1592579264 , EAN: 9781592579266) by Alpha Books, where authors Claire Damken Brown and Audrey Nelson narrate how men and women act in ingrained styles learned from birth and deeply embedded in the workplace structure. According to the authors, women tend to write long e-messages, which express support, and are more personal and emotive, while men are to the point with precise orders. They point out the following gender differences in their book:
1 – Women play the role of "office mother" offering to lend a sympathetic ear
2 – Men play devil's advocate and act in a challenging way
3 – Women make the effort to laugh at jokes and make colleagues feel good about themselves
4 – Men are more likely to be the joke teller
5 – Women act in a passive manner, letting colleagues talk over them and interrupt

Although in my opinion, both the theories are somehow nearer to the truth. I strongly believe that men and women are coming from a different subculture and not only are they different in biological manner, but they are also different with their psycho-socio backgrounds. This is due to the way boys and girls are raised linguistically. Janet Holmes claimed that women often use empty phrases like I think or you know, because they are not committed to what they are saying and that they can be used to soften or mitigate utterances in order not to hurt the addressee’s feelings.
Women’s expressions are mainly an interpretation of women’s ideas and their surroundings, and I think they differ from men’s harshness. The myth of Mars and Venus is no exception to that rule. But I don’t find anything harassing if females are considered different. It is to be remembered that the world is built with two complimentary powers and male-female differences today did not exist in the same communities in early periods. It is the patriarchal society which makes its dominance over the feminine world. Those who are saying about the brain mapping, to prove that the female is a weaker sex, has itself become a dogma, treated not as a hypothesis to be investigated or as a claim to be adjudicated, but as an unquestioned article of faith.

Still some scholars fight against the male dominance over language and making women invisible from language. Access their causes and successes at my SENSE &SENSUALITY blog.

2009-08-13T18:17:00.001-07:00

What Men Want

In SEPTEMBER 20, 2004 issue of India today, they performed a survey on Male sexuality with a sample size of 2499 men, across 11 cities (Mumbai, Delhi, Kolkatta, Chennai, Bangalore, Hyderabad, Lucknow, Ahemdabad, Jaipur, Patna and Chandigarh). The sample included 842 unmarried men in age group of 18-26; 835 married men 27-40 age group and 822 married / separated men in 41-55 age group. Viewers can access the survey report from:

http://www.indiatoday.com/itoday/20040920/cover.html

The motto of that survey was to know what men really want from their women . 42% of men have admitted the pre marital sex experience in their life while 72% of them in another question have expressed that their bride should be a virgin one. 35% of young boys think that premarital sex is wrong. To a question, “How many sexual partners have you had outside marriage?” 42% replied “a few”, 33% confirmed only one and 15% remained doubtful.
“Would you encourage your wife / girlfriend to have sex with others if you become impotent?” 55% strongly say “NO” to this question where 18% admit affirmatively.
After all, 89 per cent men rate it as important to very important. But they say they want sex with coy, virginal, beautiful, sari-clad women who should then become their wives. And once wedded, these women should neither fantasise in bed, nor ask for oral sex or deny sex to their husbands, whether they like sex or not.

2009-03-04T08:25:00.000-08:00

BLOOMSDAY

Bloomsday is the only international holiday in recognition of a specific work of art and is celebrated annually on 16 June in Dublin , to commemorate the first ‘dating’ of James Joyce and Nora Barnacle .It is named after Leopold Bloom, the protagonist of James Joyce’s legendary novel Ulysses The first celebration took place in 1954, and a major five-month-long festival (ReJoyce Dublin 2004) took place in Dublin between 1 April and 31 August 2004. On the Sunday in 2004 before the 100th "anniversary" of the fictional events described in the book, 10,000 people in Dublin were treated to a free, open-air, full Irish breakfast on O'Connell Street consisting of sausages, rashers, toast, beans, and black and white puddings. Bloomsday has also been celebrated since 1994 in the Hungarian town of Szombathely, the fictional birthplace of Leopold Bloom's father, Virág Rudolf an emigrant Hungarian Jew. There have been many Bloomsday events in Trieste, where the first part of Ulysses was written; a Joyce Museum was opened there on June 16, 2004. Since 2005 Bloomsday has been celebrated every year in Genoa, Italy, with a reading of Ulysses in Italian by volunteers (students, actors, teachers, scholars) ..
(Source : Wikipedia )
I appreciate the idea of celebrating Bloomsday as a public festival , because it is a unique festival whose roots lay in to the work of art ..I adore the day as important as valentine’s day, because it is a social recognition for love and sexuality.

2009-01-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

A Feminist View on a ‘porn’ Novel

"Lost Girls" is Alan Moore’s ambitious 280 page intellectual 'porn' (erotic or ‘porn’?) fantasy graphic novel, starring Wendy (of Peter Pan), Dorothy (of Wizard of Oz) and Alice (of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland). Illustrated by his girlfriend, underground artist Melinda Gebbie.
Generally feminists oppose pornography. But, interestingly enough, I haven’t read any criticism of Lost Girls from feminist’s pen. Quoted here from the feminist blogger Amanda Marcotte’s review:

"Does it work? I thought so, I really did. I can see why people might balk at reading a story about women who free themselves from the scars of sexual abuse by indulging themselves in orgiastic behaviors, particularly since the reader is clearly supposed to feel free to get off on the pornographic illustrations and fantasies in the book. But I liked it, because it was a clear-cut assault not only on the horrible and degrading myth that posits that sex abuse victims should shut themselves off sexually forevermore, but it’s also an assault on the idea that “stories that arouse” should be different that “stories that intrigue”, particularly when the subject at hand is sex. If a story is about sex itself, it sort of follows that the emotion it should bring up for the reader is horniness, just as a horror novel should make you scared and a sweet romance about non-American cultures that has a lot of cooking in it should make you hungry."
To read more from the review , click : http://pandagon.blogsome.com/2007/05/21/review-lost-girls/

2008-12-22T01:32:00.000-08:00

Kafka’s Erotica

James Hawes, a British lecturer and satirical novelist, in his recent book “Excavating Kafka” bombed by revealing uncelebrated “erotica” stash kept in a locked bookshelf in the journal Amethyst (1905-1906), later retitled Opals (1907) by the eminent writer Franz Kafka . They’re archived at the British Library and the Bodleian Library at Oxford.Kafka’s erotica contains illustrations, some surreal or satirical in nature. One has a wiry skeleton reaching for a cowering miniature nude; another, a frog’s mouth on a suggestively shaped plant.
The journal Amethyst / Opals was privately published and was available only via subscription in numbered, limited editions. It included reprints of material by Goethe, illustrations by artists like Aubrey Beardsley, and reprinted and newly translated erotic prose from old and recent Turkish, Indian, French, English and Italian texts, including writing by Casanova, Wilde, Rimbaud, Keats and the symbolist poet Verlaine. There was also cutting-edge fiction, like the debut of a seminal Expressionist novel, “Bebuquin” by Carl Einstein. Interestingly enough Kafka’s friend Max Brod , who later ignoring Kafka’s wishes to burn his work, published them and helped establish Kafka as a legend , was also a contributor to that journal.It is also another interesting fact that Franz Blei, te publisher of that erotic journal was the first publisher of Kafka
Kafka was not very interested with Amethyst / Opals and in one of his letter to Max Brod, he once wrote to split the cost of an expensive subscription to Amethyst, though he doesn’t go into detail about what that means. Max Brod mentioned that Kafka could never get to read more than a line of two of Casanova because according to Kafka the novel was dirty, immoral seemed to have no attraction for him.
These all facts may make the readers confused, but Mr. Hawes writes, “Things get far simpler if we forget the icon and, for once, just try to treat Kafka as a normal human being.”

Further reading: Six questions for James Hawes in Harper’s Magazine

2008-11-30T07:33:00.000-08:00

CRETIVITY & SEXUALITY

There are many Ed Bakers in USA and when I googled against that name, I found a lot of persons including both male and female and interestingly enough all are claiming as artist,poet and writers.

The Ed Baker, I am telling here was born on Washington, D.C. April 19,1941 and now resides at Takoma Park , Md .Passed his BA in English/History from University of Maryland, 1967 and MA degree from Johns Hopkins University in 1971 , has published a poetry book The City from Red Ochre Press, 1974 .But after a stroke his writings were dropped out from 1975 to 1998 and after that he erupted with his art AND poetry .He published Restoration Poems Country Valey Press, 2007, Hexapoems 1, 1972/2008 Stone Girl E-pic 5 volumes (tel let 2003, book 1, and 2)Full Moon (10,000 haiku re: "full moon) tel let, 2001Wild Orchid (Sumi-e Fay Chin, poems, Ed Baker) tel let 2002 .

My latest novel THE DARK ABODE is a collage presentation with Ed's sketch book Uma . where the publisher has chosen 23 sketches . Both my novel The Dark Abode and Ed's Uma is on sexual power of woman and it is obvious we both think about the topic in same line .Ed is also cover artist of my two books The Dark Abode as well as Waiting for Manna

It is interesting for me to know that Ed, who thinks himself as a "self-taught" or Outsider 'artist', has dreamt once the sketches and he knows very little about Eastern Philosophy of sexuality . This gives me a support to build my ideas on sexuality and creativity .

Here is a conversation between me and Ed .

Q How did this idea of Uma come to your mind?

A I don't know. It begins in a dream and then an image is born. I am not aware of that image until my pen/brush/crayon puts it onto paper. The image -- here, Uma is a symbol of many things of a life/pleasure-giving nature – well, I just wait for 'her' to 'get into the way' and I just do as 'she' bid and produce images of her.

How do the images, thoughts, etc. come into my mind? I just don't know. Magic? I just watch and wait for something to happen…and something always does.

Q Do you have any idea about the 'Prakriti/Purusha' concept of the

Samkhya Philosophy of India?

A I begin from an 'emptiness of mind.' What is this? I will have to look them up in a book or on the internet.

'Prakriti' and 'Purusha' as you call them are new names to me. Maybe this image of Uma is at the bottom a universal and basic human manifestation? The goddess of regeneration, etc.

Q What is the relation of 'sexuality' with art?

A I don't think in terms of an absolute definition. Just describe or produce a poem or a piece on paper or in stone/wood/clay and then, and only after the fact can I have a conversation with what is in my mind that I could otherwise have and make love for/with/to "her."

As far as sexuality in art? Well, male and/or female do 'art,' – yang/yin as one…

As Picasso frequently said, "All art is erotic." Are sexuality and eros the same? I cannot separate this 'thing' out of my mind so my imagination leaps. What it is...in the moment and just-as-it-is is adequate? 12,000 images of Uma and all the different manifistations/names/images/positons of "her."

Q Don't you think that sex is a private matter for an individual and it

should not be discussed either in art or in literature?

Well, 'make love, not war.'

Religions and Politics have made sex a dirty word or have made copulation, both inside and out, a sin. This is done for several reasons: power, greed, anger, ignorance. Well, do you know the No. 1 industry in the entire world is now pornography, which is not what we are here either discussing or doing? What is it that is most viewed on the 'net? As if anything virtual is real.

Q What is your idea on 'shakti' and do you think this 'shakti' should be

adhered to sexual energy?

A 'Shakti' is the other side of the male principal [not sure of where he's at here, sorry] as he is manifested in 10,000 forms/images/symbols…undifferentiated.

After all, everyone is here because a male and female had sex – in private…in public!

When he/she wants to be born…asks to be born (or reborn), the sperm gets to the proper egg via a moment of pleasure…our human condition also.

2008-08-26T17:46:00.001-07:00

Wetka Polang, 30, and Melka Nilsa, 22, two tribal day labourers of Dandabadi village in Koraput, a tribal dominated district of Orissa, got married and are living together and also the local society has accepted their marriage , as described by BBC . The news sources added

"They [Wetka and Melka] wanted to prove that they can live without the help of men. They also love each other very much. So we decided to forgive them," said village elder Melka Powla.

But the two tribal women had to pay fines to their community to get it to bless their union - they offered a barrel of country liquor, a pair of oxen, and a sack of rice and hosted a family feast.

Eventually, last month, Wetka applied vermillion on Melka's forehead in the tradition of Indian marriage ceremonies before a disari or community priest, said village elder Dalimangi Chexa.

Now the couple say they are happy.

"We are leading a blissful married life. We love each other very much," Wetka told the BBC.

Both the women have had unhappy experiences with men in the past.

Wetka says she walked out of her marriage to an alcoholic after years of abuse.

Melka's family had arranged her marriage with another local man much against her wishes - she managed to break the engagement by telling the man's family that he was mentally "not normal".

The two women now hope to extend their family by adopting the son of Wetka's elder brother.

Sex and the City

2008-05-31T20:05:00.000-07:00

Recently the film “Sex and the City”, written and directed by Michael Patrick King , has been released in the USA , was based on the popular HBO TV show with the same name . The film has followed the continuing sexual desires and fantasies of four main characters - Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda and their travails in life and love. The show often depicts frank discussions about romance and sexuality, particularly in the context of being a single woman in her mid-thirties . Stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, and Cynthia Nixon are all on board to reprise their roles .

Criticised as an anti feminist film , The New York Times deemed the film "dumpy" and "desperate", the Guardian said it is "unbelievably girly, whirly and twirly", while Scotland on Sunday's own critic wants to see Carrie Bradshaw's head stuffed into a Prada bowling bag.

Most of the individual feminists have raised their voice against this film and have blamed for making the female mind only obsessed for sex rather to discuss many aspects the females are encountering now days in USA .
An online survey of more than 10,000 moviegoers buying tickets for "Sex and the City" found that 94 percent were women, and that 67 percent planned to attend the movie this weekend with a group of female friends.

Kamala : In Search of Love

2008-01-21T01:36:00.000-08:00

Getting a man to love you is easy
Only be honest about your wants as
Woman, Stand nude before the glass with him

So that he sees himself the stronger one
And believes it so, and you so much more

Softer, younger, lovelier. Admit your
Admiration. Notice the perfection

Of his limbs, his eyes reddening under

The shower, the shy walk across the bathroom floor,

Dropping towels, and the jerky way he

Urinates. All the fond details that make
Him male and your only man। Gift him all,

Gift him what makes you woman, the scent of

Long hair, the musk of sweat between the breasts,

The warm shock of menstrual blood, and all your

Endless female hungers. Oh yes, getting
A man to love is easy, but living
Without him afterwards may have to be

Faced. A living without life when you move

Around, meeting strangers, with your eyes that

Gave up their search, with ears that hear only

His last voice calling out your name and your

Body which once under his touch had gleamed
Like burnished brass, now drab and destitute .

(The Looking Glass : Kamla Das )

(Kamala Das was short listed for Nobel Prize for literature in 1984 along with Marguerite Yourcenar, Doris Lessing, and Nadine Gordimer. Apart from that she received many awards for her literary contributions like Asian Poetry Prize, Kent Award for English Writing from Asian Countries, Asian World Prize, Sahitya Academy Award and Kerala Sahitya Academy Award etc.
In 1984 in an interview with Shobha Wariyar for Eve's Weekly, she made the following statement: "Yes, I know, yesterday I might have been against liberation, today I am for it. Tomorrow I do not know what I would say, and how I feel".
In her autobiography -- My Story -- she told the story of her sexual life, her relationship with men and her views on the world. My Story gave her the image of being an amoral woman. But it was a huge success and has been published in more than 15 languages. It is now a school textbook in Japan and Canada.
She released her first nude painting in the 1980s, she proclaimed: "I find the nude female body the most beautiful in the world."
She makes no attempt to hide the sensuality of the human form; her work seems to celebrate its joyous potential while acknowledging its concurrent dangers.
She once said, "I always wanted love, and if you don't get it within your home, you stray a little"(Warrior interview). Some might label her as "a feminist" for her candor in dealing with women's needs and desires.
At the age of 67 , she converted her self to Muslim to marry a young man. After converting herself to Islam ,she argued that Purdah in Islam is the most wonderful dress for women in the world. And she had always loved to wear the purdah.and it gives women a sense of security. Only Islam gives protection to women.About her conversion to Islam she told that she had been lonely all through her life. At nights, she used to sleep by embracing a pillow. But she was no longer a loner. Islam was her company. According to her Islam is the only religion in the world that gives love and protection to women.
She shifted all the Hindu idols in her home, including her intimate ''friend and love'' Lord Krishna to the guestroom , saying namaz five times a day has become a regular feature. Her formal initiation into Islam took place in front of the Muslim clergy at Palayam mosque in Thiruvananthapuram .
But in 2006 , she has issued a statement at a book releasing ceremony organized by Kairali Books in Kochi that she deeply regrets converting to Islam and is disillusioned with the treacherous behavior of her Muslim friends. She claims that all her wealth amounting to several lakhs, gold ornaments, books and other valuables have been looted by Muslims.)

AMRITA : THE EVER VIRGIN

2006-05-21T18:32:00.000-07:00

When I moved into your bed
I was not alone — there were two of us
A married woman and a virgin
To sleep with you.
I had to for the virgin in me
I did so
This slaughter is permissible in law
Not the indignity of it
And I bore the onslaught of insult.

(These are the excerpt of a poem Kumari (Virgin) in Amrita Pritam’s Jnanpith Award-winning Kaghaz Te Canvas ).
Amrita pritam, the most known Indian writer had left her husband in 1960 for her lover Imroz, an artist and writer. For more than four decades, they were inseparable and supremely happy, and he designed most of her book jackets. He survives her, as do a daughter and a son from her marriage. During this time she had also love affairs with Punjabi Muslim poets - the well-known Sahir Ludhianvi and remained with Imroz and Sahir without any confrontation. A young Amrita Pritam, madly in love with Sahir, wrote his name hundreds of times on a sheet of paper while addressing a press conference. A bachelor to the end, Sahir fell in love with writer Amrita Pritam and singer Sudha Malhotra, relationships that never fructified in the conventional sense.
More about Amrita’s writing can be read on : http://www.lehigh.edu/~amsp/blog.html)

FRIDA : HER BODY AND HER SOUL

2006-05-20T18:02:00.000-07:00

Frida Kahlo, the most remarkable Mexican painter, endured at least 35 surgical interventions and was encased in 28 such corsets through out her life , wrote in her Diary :

"... from the invisible inside, where I could neither see nor want the very thing that I have always been scared to have revealed on the scanner, by analysis - radiology, echography, endocrinology, hematology - a crural vein expelled my blood outside that I thought beautiful once stored in that bottle under a label that I doubted could avoid confusion or misappropriation of the vintage, leaving me nothing more to do, the inside of my life exhibiting itself outside, expressing itself before my eyes, absolved without a gesture, dare I say of writing if I compare the pen to a syringe, and I always dream of a pen that would be a syringe, a suction point rather than that very hard weapon with which one must inscribe, incise, choose, calculate, take ink before filtering the inscribable, playing the keyboard on the screen, whereas here, once the vein has been found, no more toil, no responsibility, no risk of bad taste or violence, the blood delivers itself all alone, the inside gives itself up and you can do as you like with it, it's me but I'm no longer there, for nothing, for nobody, diagnose the worst..."

BEAUVOIR AT ZEBRA CROSSING

2006-05-09T23:54:00.000-07:00

If I could give up my life with Sartre I would be a dirty creature a treacherous and selfish woman... it is not by lack of love that I don't stay with you...Sartre needs me. In fact, he is very lonely, very tormented inside himself and I am his only true friend, I could not desert him...it is not possible to love more than I love you, flesh and heart and soul. But Sartre needs me.
(Simone de Beauvoir wrote to her lover Nelson Algren on Mon 19 July '48)